"Umm, well there's this silly guy I know who actually believes in Plug and Play but he'll kill me if I mention that his name is Dr. Dave. I mean when Bill asked him "Where do you want to go today?" He ANSWERED him. Like in a dream...he said, "Bill, take me to the place where systems never crash, all software co-exists peacefully, and I'll live happily ever after." Well, Dr. Dave is now in a place very like that, where he'll never be able to hurt himself or his computer by throwing it off a tall building ever again. So in a way, Bill was right"!

UPDATE: Dr. Dave appears to be improving. He recently installed Warp and the convulsions are occurring less frequently, though the therapists are unsure if he will ever fully recover.

"Hi. I saw my name mentioned here when I was running my usual morning search string and realized that if I were ever to be nominated for this award, I'd have to do it myself. Though I've never actually had any trouble with software, any software, never had a bug or a glitch or a General Protection Fault personally, I still think I qualify for the Information Superhighway Roadkill Hall of Fame. I recently launched my latest stroke of marketing genius, a softnewsware channelpage, and despite the fact that I am not only an empire builder but a multizillionaire also, I appeared on national television in front of millions of viewers with my hair looking like I cut it in the dark with a pair of gardening shears (see enclosed photo). If this doesn't get me in, I'll build my own damn museum.